Two Thirds Bad

De-tour de Connecticut

When I got word that a local Pro MTB racer was organizing an adventure ride of about 75 mostly off-road miles on a day where the girls and Mrs D wouldn't be around, I immediately blocked my calendar off.  I figured if the weather was nice, it would be a nice way to spend 6 hours on my "free" day.  While the ride leader was known for his mastery of terrain that would scare me back to my trainer, I had somehow come to the conclusion that the majority of the day would be spent on smooth CT rail trail, so I also thought the day would allow me to plan out future family rides.

Well, after spending over 9 and 1/2 hours (though the Garmin data below only shows 8 1/2) on rail trails, single track, hiking trails, people's backyards, mud, inches deep crushed rock, stairwells, dilapidated railroad bridges, and a river, I instead have a good recollection of where NOT to take my family, unless for some reason I truly aspire to getting divorced by the Mrs. and disowned by the little ones.  Here's teammate Joe's Garmin upload of the route.  I'm surprised that Garmin let him successfully upload the file as the terrain and route covered had to have set off warning signs signaling an "invalid route".

 

The Good

Once I got back from yesterday's adventure, Mrs D phoned me to ask if I was safe and if I had fun.  My answers to her were "Barely" and "I don't know."  I'll get to the "Barely" answer later in the post, but now I'll take you through the mathematics I struggled with as I tried to answer her 2nd question.  As I see it, something that is equal parts "Good", "Bad", and "Ugly" (with perhaps a few bonus "Truly Ugly" parts as well), that entity is at best just one third good.  Hard to give it a "Fun" label.  However, as Joe told me late in the ride in an attempt to buoy my spirits, "At least you have something to put on your blog!"

Let's start with the "Good".  To be fair to Salem, the ride leader, the sum of the "Good" parts of the ride totaled far more than just the 33% I suggested above.  He was ever vigilant to ensure that we remained safe and that nobody was left behind.  The gang of 13 did a lot of socializing as the majority of the miles covered were on reasonably well maintained rail trail allowing us to focus on joking around and getting to know each other. The group consisted of an eclectic mix of characters, ranging from a few racers (though I think I might have been the lone racer exclusive to roads), MTB riders, adventurers, and even two Fixies (how the heck that guy pulled of a ride like this on a Fixie still amazes me).

One of the day's brief rest stops

And, despite my comment above, the reasonably nice late fall weather allowed me to enjoy some dirt roads and sections of rail trail unknown to me before yesterday, and I'll likely add them to some of my family ride routes.  I also think I'll use my cross bike (with the new cross tires I bought just for this ride) on some of these dirt roads and sections of rail trail during the off-season in place of some of the time on the road.  Well, as long as I avoid "The Bad", and "The Ugly".

The leaves may be gone, but the forest lined rail trails still offer up scenic beauty

The Bad

Apologies if this post now starts to sound like a rambling rant.  In reading through the notes I jotted down yesterday, my mood soured just a little bit now, so I'm going to attempt to fire off the rest of this post as quickly as possible, without spending too much time prettying it up.

I call this Blog "Trainer Confessions" because I spend a lot of time indoors on my bike.  When I'm not on the trainer, I'm most often riding on the roads.  Therefore, you shouldn't be surprised to learn that I was by far the least skilled bike handler during yesterday's frequent excursions off the beaten path and into the rocky, rooty, twisty, and hilly single track.  Where my ride-mates breezed through with smiles, I frequently found myself putting a foot down to prevent a fall (and on at least a handful of times I didn't get the foot down in time).  This was terrain that probably would have challenged me on my dual suspension MTB, so you can imagine how difficult it was for me to be out their on a cross bike (with perhaps the thinnest tires amongst the group), especially when branches somehow found themselves jammed and wedged into my spokes and drive-train.

I toyed with putting the time riding over the day's railroad sections in "the ugly" section, but I ultimately decided to jot them down here given that they were fairly short in duration.  However, during those brief periods where we navigated over the 2 inch diameter and inches deep rock base near the active rail road system, I nearly reached my boiling point.  With my body bouncing like a jack hammer, my front and rear wheels swishing out from me in opposite directions, all while moving forward at a barely a snail's pace, I was severely tempted to get off of my bike and toss onto the tracks, and then sit and watch a train crush it, giving me my revenge.  I hope to never ride on an active track system again.

My falls became more frequent towards the end of the ride, and I think that had to do with the fact that we never stopped to pickup more food or water.  By the 5 hour mark, I had finished my two 20 oz water bottles, 2 cliff bars, and 2 gel packs.  I planned to stretch my calories and water intake to keep me going for 6 hours, but as the ride blew past the 9 hour mark, dehydration and starvation began slowly shutting systems down in my brain.  That limited mental capacity certainly played a factor in helping me score the "Truly Ugly" bonus points, which I'm almost ready to talk about.

The Ugly

When you write a blog, you're often forced to expose things that perhaps are a bit uncomfortable to reveal, so here's one for you to laugh about.  I've got a bit of a fear of heights.  The other night while watching the discovery channel, my palms were clammy with sweat as I watch some guy ascend the face of Half Dome without ANY gear.  I was getting nervous with fear just watching the guy, so it should be no surprise to learn that I tend to stay clear of any bike routes with sheer drop-offs. 

Unfortunately yesterday there was no avoiding it.

If you look closely at the picture above, you'll see a gap in this rickety abandoned bridge.  It was a gap of no more than three or four feet, but it was big enough to reveal a 25 foot drop to the river below.  As I got to the edge of the precipice, I was nearly paralyzed and unable to think of a way that I'd be able to carry my bike across the gap.  I will be forever thankful to the rider with sneakers on (and who apparently had no fear holding him back) who came back to grab my bike (and one other guy's bike, so I wasn't the only wimp!), which allowed me to get down and use both my hands and my feet to bridge what felt to me like a gigantic chasm to get to the other side.

Advice I should have heeded...

The Truly Ugly

I forgot to apologize to teammate Joe yesterday.  The number of times I swore during the day's last episode must have offended him.  I'm not a foul-mouthed kind of guy, but the event that helped to permanently sear this ride in my memory unleashed words inside that I just could not control.

It turns out that with just over 5 miles to go in the day, our ride leader realized the route looks a lot different once the CT river has risen by a few feet.  So, we could either get our feet wet and cross the washed out road, or turn around and backtrack and add at least another 30 minutes to the day. Given that it was by now getting dark, and most of us no longer had any food or water, the vote (by a slight majority) was to take our chances crossing the river.

Not long after wading out into the frigid CT river, I learned that the water was going to get more than just my socks wet. The water had risen to well above my knees, and just below my crotch.  It wasn't a pleasant feeling, but for a moment I thought it would go down as just another funny anecdote on a very interesting and long ride.  But then I realized that the deepening water in the diminishing daylight masked a few boulders in my way.  In an instant, the event went from funny PG story to a R rated, profanity laced action movie.  I had tripped over the hidden rocks and found myself completely submerged (with my iPhone and camera, both of which are on the fritz today because of the dip in the river) with my bike on top of me. 

I regained my footing (but not my composure) and made it to the other side, but as we waited for the others to finish the river crossing, my core temperture seemed to plummet. I could feel what remained of my mental capacity quickly shutting down, so I passed along word that I needed to Time Trial myself back home.  I did it partly to generate body heat until it could be replaced with the heat of the shower, but I think I did it mostly to avoid any possible additional "De-Tours" through Connecticut.

Fortunately Joe snapped this picture from the rear, else you would have been able to clearly make out the profanity flowing freely after my CT River dip.

Comments

[Karen]

Welcome to a "Mazzy Ride"..... thanks for sharing it. I'm glad I did the CCRT motor pacing with Aidan instead... if you were struggling on this ride, I would've been out for the count early on!

[Dennis Desmarais]

While I had nothing but bad things to say about a "Mazzy Ride" by the end of yesterday's adventure, I will say that with nearly a day to think about things, I'm glad that I opted for this expedition rather than a normal Saturday shop ride. I'll be talking about this Mazzy Ride for many years to come...

[Andy]

Dennis,
Normally I would look to respond to your post
with a healthy dose of sarcasm and attempted humor, but in this case I will say "congrats on finishing", hope you enjoyed a nice hot shower
and a couple of strong alcoholic beverages.

Best,
Andy Shleck

[Dennis Desmarais]

Now that the iPhone and camera have dried out and work again, and the bone-chilling dip in the CT river has released its grip on my fingers and toes, I'm starting to realize that finishing what truly can be labeled as an "Epic" ride is perhaps more worthy of a congratulation than any of my actual race results to date.
As for the alcoholic beverage(s), I've yet to indulge. I'm waiting for someone to offer to buy a round, and then I'll sit down and retell the fateful day when I was swept away by the fast flowing CT river (this story is going to grow ever more impressive over time!)

[Diane]

I opted for the half marathon and think I saw you guys on the Air Line? Bummed I missed it - though at my height I likely would have been submerged in that last stretch! Hope to catch the next one. :)

[Dennis Desmarais]

You reminded me of at least a handful of other encounters and adventures that made the ride so memorable but didn't make it into my blog, like navigating through dozens (or hundreds?) of runners doing the 1/2 marathon. I doubt the next ride will come close to this one in terms of memorable events, but I too hope to catch it just in case!